There are things I live for.

1. Rainy roads. The smell of petrichor, a cold breeze and your warmth to keep me from shivering.

You read the things I write. You tell me about that rickshaw ride under the dark clouds. The sound of rain, thunderstorms and our breaths so close to each other, it almost fogs up my glasses.

2. That song we dance to. Moonlight and jazz music. We don’t know the moves and yet our bodies dabble in harmony.

You sing the songs I write. You start singing another. I don’t recognise this one. But somehow I feel it’s about us.

3. Burnt cigarettes and flicked off ashes. I don’t smoke because I’m addicted. I’m only in to become one.

You know my addiction. You tell me how surprised you were. “People” I remember I told you. You know who.

4. A cup of hot coffee. I hold it in my hands as I listen to raindrops. Burnt lips and bittersweet taste.

You tell me how much you love brownies. Hazelnut cream cheese and a sip from my cup. We talk and somedays we let silence talk more.

5. Shadows and silhouettes. The light is too bright for me. Darkness feels like home and yet makes me feel alone.

You put your arms around me. I put my head on your shoulder. You look at me and I see us in your eyes.

6. The moments I don’t think about. My brain runs like a steam engine and my heart is an iron fortress.

You tell me that it’s moments like these when we actually live. Your voice sounds cold and yet I feel alive. Even fortresses fall.

7.

I’m all out of things to live for. You pick up a pen and hand it to me.

“Add me to your list”

I smile at you. I know, you know. It’s always about you. I rip off the pages and start again from scratch.

1. You

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To live for | July 6, 2021