Fresh air, gentle breeze and an overcast sky greets me as I get out of the airport. I take a deep breathe; I’m still in a trance. The city looks different now. It looked different from up above. It looks different from the time I was here.

I start walking. I have somewhere I need to be; I have no place to belong.
The city screams your name.

I walk roads after roads, cross streets after streets, take turns after turns until I scream all the same. I visit a bookshop and then some more; read books that you might like. I drink coffees so bitter that they’d devour our soul; one shop at a time, one cup after the other.

The city offers me fragments; the city where you live; the city where we met.

I start walking; I don’t know where to go next. I have no place left to search for you but I know you’re here. If only you knew how it hurts; to live inside memories and not disappear; for those who leave, don’t know the pain of those who stay. That is why I never wanted you to remember me; why we’ll never find each other.

It’s gonna rain soon, you can smell it in the air. I feel like I wanna disappear. But if I get lost it has to be here. I can take a train ride right, I can take a taxi left. But there’s no way back home.

The city has no name.
I don’t want one either. I can’t make up my mind. So, I stand right here.

I stand right there.
………………
The city where you lived | August 29
Bangkok, Thailand